The Essence of You Podcast

Steph Lokelani sits down with her friend Nova Calverley-Frye, a mother, actress, improviser, teacher, and artist, for a conversation about resilience, intuition, and learning to say no. They first met at Steph's pre-pandemic Valentine's gathering celebrating women, and later reconnected when Nova led SoulCollage® workshops at Steph's studio.
Nova explains SoulCollage®, an intuitive process of making your own personal oracle deck through collage and then "interviewing" each card. She shares how her Irish mother taught her plants and moon phases, how "The Mists of Avalon" shaped her feminism, and what it means to her to practice as an eclectic witch. Steph opens up about her own past running a metaphysical shop and her connection to Pele.
Then the conversation goes deeper. Nova shares her childhood with her biological parents, life in foster care, asking to be adopted at 15, and the mental health journey that led to a diagnosis that finally brought clarity. She talks about why overscheduling is a trigger, why "no" is a complete sentence, and why sharing hard truths doesn't make you "too much."
About Nova Calverley-Frye:Originally from Cape Cod, Nova holds a degree in theatre performance from Idaho State University and has an extensive background in acting for stage and film, dance, improvisation, teaching, and mixed media art.  She is a mother, SoulCollage® Facilitator, part-time teacher for the Idaho Shakespeare Festival, and can be found acting and improvising at various theatres across the Treasure Valley.  In her free time, Nova enjoys reading, watching horror movies with her two teenage sons, and working in her various art journals.
Key Takeaways:- Give yourself credit. Things you did "because they had to be done" may be the clearest proof of your resilience.- SoulCollage® invites you to slow down, quiet your inner editor, and let your intuition speak.- Your spiritual practice is yours. Intention and "do no harm" matter more than trends.- Overscheduling can quietly erode your mental health. Slowing down is self-care, not laziness.- "No" is a complete sentence. You don't owe anyone an explanation.- Sharing your story can be a mirror, giving others permission to recognize their own.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in distress, help is available. Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US and Canada), or text HOME to 741741 to connect with the Crisis Text Line. International listeners should contact their local emergency services or a specialized regional crisis line.
Chapters:0:00 Cold open: being "that kid" in class0:50 Welcome + meet Nova Calverly-Frye1:06 How they met: a Valentine's gathering of women2:40 What is SoulCollage®?5:00 Slowing down and letting intuition lead7:22 Partnering on workshops + a monthly art night dream9:02 How cards speak differently over time10:09 Steph's astrology deep dive13:16 What being a witch means to Nova13:50 An Irish mom, plants, and moon phases14:41 Foster care and a New England church15:25 The Mists of Avalon, feminism, and flawed authors16:13 Solstice traditions with her kids17:26 Throwing out her runes, and finding her way back18:23 Steph's shop days and online forums19:08 Hawaiian spirituality, Pele, and Maui21:07 Resilience, self-worth, and mental health21:45 Learning to give herself credit23:42 Asking to be adopted at 1524:38 Her kids' advice: "Don't be so hard on yourself"25:57 Therapy, smiling depression, and postpartum27:11 A diagnosis that brought clarity27:47 Overscheduling as a trigger29:01 Her sons on the Hope Squad29:57 Boys who hug and show emotion32:06 Students "playing therapist"33:21 Breaking generational silence34:10 Steph on therapy and couples check-ins35:41 The guilt of slowing down39:32 A book club talk that changed her theater life41:50 "No" is a complete sentence43:43 Ron's advice: you're the only one who runs your business44:30 Hustle culture vs. the European out-of-office46:49 Phones, boundaries, and morning routines50:54 Sharing hard truths without diminishing yourself52:42 Telling her story at StoryStory Night54:56 The stories we're not ready to tell56:23 Leaving survival mode57:08 Who is Nova at her core?58:08 StrengthsFinder: woo, learner, and harmony1:01:56 Frodo, Loki, and senior dogs1:03:32 Wrap-up

Steph Lokelani sits down with Evan Stewart, executive director of Jesse Tree, the Treasure Valley nonprofit working to prevent homelessness before it happens. Evan explains who Jesse Tree serves: working families, single parents, and seniors living paycheck to paycheck, often just one car repair or medical bill away from falling behind on rent.
He breaks down why Idaho is one of the fastest-evicting states in the country, why an eviction record follows renters for life, and how Ada County's eviction court mediation model has helped cut judgment rates dramatically. He also shares what Jesse Tree is seeing in Canyon County, the findings of its 2025 Treasure Valley eviction report, and the Keep Boise Housed community event.
Evan talks about his own path, from a PhD in applied anthropology and water and sanitation work in Nepal to joining Jesse Tree in 2020 and growing with it as the team expanded from six people to about 25. Steph shares her family's own experience of being priced out of Hawaii, and the two close on why prevention is one of the smartest investments a community can make.
ABOUT EVAN STEWART & JESSE TREEAs Executive Director of Jesse Tree, one of the Treasure Valley’s largest nonprofits, my career is dedicated to preventing homelessness by keeping our neighbors housed. Jesse Tree provides emergency rental assistance and helps tenants facing eviction work with their landlords in court in order to prevent the trauma and expense of becoming homeless. In the past year, Jesse Tree helped 3,000 individuals and 1,500 families stay in their homes. I’ve led programs at Jesse Tree for the past five years, and prior to that, worked in the nonprofit center and in universities on some of the trickiest social problems facing our communities. I oversee Jesse Tree’s dedicated team of 20+ staff members who advocate for tenants and show up every day for the most vulnerable in our communities.  I hold a Ph.D. in Applied Anthropology from the University of Montana and a M.A. from Texas A&M. When not working, you’ll find me fly fishing or practicing Brazilian jiu jitsu.
Visit the Jesse Tree website to learn more: https://www.jessetreeidaho.org/Donate to Jesse Tree: https://www.jessetreeidaho.org/donate
🔑 KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Most people facing eviction are working. About 40% of those who contact Jesse Tree name a health emergency as the trigger.- Idaho evictions move fast. A missed rent payment can lead to eviction in about 21 days, and the record is permanent.- Talk to your landlord early. Many will offer more time or a payment plan if they know what's going on.- Mediation works. Ada County's judgment rate fell from 50% to 19% after Jesse Tree began joining court mediation in 2023.- Prevention costs far less. Jesse Tree spends about $2,000 to keep someone housed, versus roughly $20,000 to rehouse them.- 95% of the people Jesse Tree serves don't access homelessness services in the five years after working with Jesse Tree.- At his core, Evan leads with curiosity, small moments of joy, kindness, gratitude, and faith.
⏱️ CHAPTERS
0:00 – Cold open: wrestling, jiu-jitsu, and yoga1:23 – Welcome + meet Evan Stewart1:52 – What Jesse Tree does3:01 – One emergency away from eviction6:49 – A single mom, a medical bill, and eviction court9:53 – Why Idaho is one of the fastest-evicting states10:52 – A 1970s law in a corporate landlord era12:35 – An eviction record is permanent in Idaho14:33 – Homelessness is a housing problem16:37 – Touring Interfaith Sanctuary18:54 – 2,000 calls a month: the Tenant Resource Center20:17 – Why talking to your landlord matters22:53 – Property managers and pressure from the top25:03 – The Emergency Rent Assistance Program25:59 – Inside Ada County eviction court mediation28:53 – Judgment rates drop from 50% to 19%29:33 – Community health workers and housing navigators31:16 – Why the Treasure Valley's nonprofits matter32:50 – Evan's path: a PhD in applied anthropology34:14 – Nonprofit work in Nepal36:03 – Social work in Missoula and ACEs37:28 – Moving to Boise and joining Jesse Tree39:40 – Keep Boise Housed44:05 – Steph's family leaves Hawaii47:29 – The 2025 Treasure Valley eviction report48:41 – Canyon County and the missing mediation program53:21 – Case management, budgeting, and housing plans54:31 – A 95% success rate56:06 – Prevention vs. the cost of homelessness57:37 – Nonprofits as a community investment1:01:03 – Closing question1:02:01 – Outro

Steph Lokelani reunites with her longtime friend Caitlin Copple, founding partner of Full Swing PR, the nation's leading agency for under-recognized leaders in high-growth professional services firms. They open with old-friend banter before Caitlin shares how the two actually met.
Caitlin unpacks what she calls PR 3.0: writing not just for journalists but for the AI models now shaping how people find and judge a business. She explains generative engine optimization (GEO), why earned media and trade publications carry outsized weight with tools like ChatGPT and Claude, and how one client shifted its AI search results within a month. They also cover Steph's rebrand from OMG Studios Boise to In Real Life Films, and why PR should come before a crisis, not after.
The conversation turns personal as Caitlin talks about learning to fly as a single mom in her 40s, why she wishes she'd started her business sooner, and her decade-birthday traditions. She closes with what's underneath her titles: a kid who built tree forts and staged backyard plays, who now calls business the adult expression of that same creative drive.
About Caitlin Copple:Caitlin Copple is the Founding Partner of Full Swing PR, the nation’s leading agency for underrecognized leaders of high-growth professional services firms. A former journalist turned PR strategist, Caitlin helps clients earn visibility that converts through meaningful media coverage, message clarity, and show-stopping momentum. Her work has helped sell books, passed legislation, ousted corrupt lawmakers, and positioned executives in outlets like CNN, TIME, and Fast Company. Caitlin founded Full Swing in 2019, and with Holly Conti, scaled Full Swing to seven figures in less than four years, earning recognition from Inc. Magazine as one of the fastest-growing private companies in the Mountain West. She's mom to a now-10-year-old and is a private pilot. 
About Full Swing PR:Full Swing PR helps underrecognized professional services companies create visibility strategies to pack sales pipelines. Led by former journalists turned PR partners, Full Swing helps ambitious teams in law, design, and leadership consulting earn millions of dollars through smart, effective PR campaigns. In 2024 and 2025, the agency was named among Inc. Magazine's fastest-growing privately held companies in the Rocky Mountain Region.
Key Takeaways:- PR is now written for two audiences at once. Caitlin calls this PR 3.0: earned media and trade publications increasingly shape what ChatGPT, Claude, and Gemini say about your business.- Generative engine optimization (GEO) is the new SEO. One client's mismatched messaging was repositioned and reflected in AI search results within about a month.- Build your PR reputation before you need it - don't wait for a crisis to start earning credibility.- Own what you can't lose. A newsletter list and a website you control matter more than social platforms that can vanish overnight.- It's never too late to start. Caitlin wishes she'd launched Full Swing before 35; she and her business partner Holly scaled it to $1 million in under four years.- Titles don't define you. Underneath the awards, Caitlin says she's still the kid who built tree forts and staged backyard plays.
Chapters: 0:00 – Cold open0:42 – Welcome + meet Caitlin Copple1:04 – Teaser: a shed full of potatoes3:51 – Caitlin's bio: Full Swing PR4:35 – How they met: a gubernatorial campaign7:06 – "Call your fans": early business advice7:55 – Being visible as an LGBTQ business owner9:14 – What is a visibility scorecard?9:29 – Defining PR: more than press releases10:21 – The flotilla: an off-grid branding retreat13:44 – Flying a pride flag down the Middle Fork14:31 – Scaling Full Swing to $1M in under 4 years15:18 – Becoming an "unlikely entrepreneur"16:18 – Why focus on women and BIPOC leaders16:42 – Podcasts as the new magazine feature17:35 – PR 3.0: writing for journalists and machines19:15 – Why long press releases feed AI search19:50 – Case study: fixing a mismatched niche fast21:00 – Steph's rebrand: OMG Studios to IRL Films22:28 – Don't wait for a crisis to do PR23:14 – Why third-party validation builds trust25:17 – Holly's Q50 award, Caitlin's Idaho Women of the Year award27:02 – Dr. Fara and the dermatology PR playbook28:09 – Where "Full Swing" got its name29:05 – Learning to fly as a single mom30:20 – Trading a retired plane for a Cessna 17231:44 – Female pilots and quiet determination33:01 – Big birthdays: the 30th "wedding" and beyond34:23 – Why Caitlin doesn't put things off35:05 – Stepping back, journaling, and slowing down37:20 – The every-decade tradition44:18 – 27 press clips in a month, and Idaho's bathroom bill46:44 – GEO, explained again for the AI era48:41 – How Steph uses AI for this podcast49:20 – Is Caitlin afraid of AI?50:23 – Advice for anyone on the fence about starting a business51:12 – Freedom, healthcare, and never going back51:46 – Full Swing's resources and owning your list55:46 – Matching PR strategy to business goals56:18 – Closing question57:23 – Tree forts, then and now58:24 – Wrap-up

Sarah Cortez knew she wanted to be a pilot from the age of three, watching out the window of her dad's plane. It took her almost 40 years to act on it. In this episode, Sarah, a longtime sales professional, keynote speaker, and student pilot, joins Steph Lokelani to talk about what it took to finally start flying: clearing her schedule, ignoring the excuses, and pushing through nearly 200 two-week training cycles to earn her private pilot's license.
Sarah shares the story of her dad's skepticism, a helicopter-pilot father with 1,500 skydiving jumps of his own, and how being told she didn't have the focus became the moment she stopped calling flying a "pipe dream." She and Steph swap adventure stories, from flying into the Grand Canyon at dusk to heli-snowboarding in Whistler, and dig into Sarah's work as fundraising chair for Women in Aviation Gem State Chapter, including the upcoming Girls in Aviation Day, on September 19, 2026. 
About Sarah Cortez:Meet Sarah Cortez, the "GOALden Girl," a National award-winning sales professional and pilot with a remarkable journey. Moving an incredible 34 times before 5th grade, she developed adaptability and resilience at a young age.  With over 25 years of sales and management experience, Sarah's expertise shines through her training company, established in 2018.As a sought-after speaker and trainer, Sarah captivates audiences across the United States at national conferences, sales kick-offs, and company retreats. Her ability to inspire and motivate stems from her relentless tenacity in accomplishing her own GOALS.Beyond her sales career, Sarah's journey of becoming a pilot after the age of 40 exemplifies the power of self-belief, action, and surrounding oneself with remarkable HUMANs.The "GOALDEN GIRL" has formulated a winning approach to help others achieve greatness in their lives. She loves nothing more than helping others accomplish their BIG GOALS.
Key Takeaways:- Action beats readiness. Sarah didn't wait to feel ready, she cleared her schedule and started studying six months after deciding to pursue her pilot's license, despite three kids, a full-time job, and a side business.- A "pipe dream" becomes real the day you stop calling it one. Her dad's doubt, and his honest explanation that she "didn't have the focus," became the turning point that made her commit.- Progress is a cycle, not a straight line. Sarah calls her approach "the art of achievement": take action, reflect, adjust, and take action again. However many cycles it takes.- Representation matters early. Through Girls in Aviation Day, Sarah has watched what happens when young girls see women in flight suits, cockpits, and maintenance bays: "if they can see it, they can be it."- A childhood of constant motion built resilience. Moving 34 times before fifth grade for her father's power line construction work taught Sarah to connect with people quickly and keep those connections going.- Signs can show up anywhere, even a coffee cup. While questioning whether to keep pushing toward her pilot's license, a Starbucks cup reading "stay the course" convinced Sarah she was on the right path.- Sarah's answer to Steph's closing question: at her core, she's a fun-loving, people-loving person who feels most herself in the air, on the snow, and grounded in her faith.
Chapters:0:00 – Cold open: meeting Sarah and her aviation dream0:39 – Knowing she wanted to fly since age three1:03 – Encouraging others to take action on their dreams1:46 – Turning 40 and deciding "if I'm going to do this, I better start"2:36 – Behind the yoke for the first time on her own3:16 – Flight school: instrument rating and commercial training underway6:59 – What Women in Aviation Gem State Chapter does9:01 – 100,000 female pilots and counting12:00 – Her dad's "when horses fly" reaction to her pilot dream14:26 – Keynote speaking and sales training15:01 – Girls in Aviation Day: growing from 150 to 250 attendees17:16 – "If they can see it, they can be it"18:11 – What flying feels like: total presence, total release19:55 – A yoga parallel: losing yourself in the moment20:36 – Flying into the Grand Canyon at dusk24:03 – Flying into the backcountry: Indian Creek and smoke-filled skies26:45 – What company would you fly for?30:00 – Her kids' very different dreams: skiing, ranching, baseball33:37 – Her dad's helicopter career and 1,500 skydiving jumps34:39 – Heli-snowboarding in Whistler, BC39:52 – Favorite Idaho flight: a solo cross-country to Coeur d'Alene41:24 – Landing a Kodiak backcountry plane at Flying B42:51 – Would she buy back her dad's old plane?44:19 – A childhood of 34 moves before fifth grade50:11 – Flying a Black Hawk during the "boss lift"53:52 – A shoutout to Women in Aviation founder Sarina1:02:23 – Closing question1:03:53 – Outro

Steph Lokelani reunites with Angela Ocheltree, the oldest friend she's had on the podcast to date, for a warm, funny catch-up that doubles as a time capsule. The two met as seventh graders at Lakota Junior High in Federal Way, Washington, in the early '90s through drama club, and they trace the throughline from those teenage years to now.
They swap stories about the theater kids they used to be (Godspell, Macbeth, and one unforgettable paper-mache head), an eerie coincidence involving Angela's adopted mother's birth family and the small Idaho town her parents happened to retire to, and the different roads that led them both into second acts later in life; Angela went back to college at 32 and lived in the dorms, while Steph built a filmmaking career after finishing her degree online through Full Sail University.
Angela, now a sixth grade teacher working toward becoming a school librarian, talks candidly about budget cuts gutting librarian jobs in her district, what she's seeing as phones reshape her classroom, and how drama and choir saved her as a shy, insecure teenager. Both women open up about divorce, starting over, and raising kids the second time around.
About Angela Ocheltree:Angela Ocheltree is an educator and aspiring storyteller based in the Pacific Northwest. With a decade of experience as a middle school teacher and theater co-director, she recently completed her library endorsement to transition into her dream role as a school librarian. Beyond the classroom, Angela is a creative who dabbles in many things; lately it is watercolor and writing. She also loves going to the theater, spending time with her family and friends, and traveling. As a mom of three, she balances her professional life with family adventures, sharing her love for everything from the stage to exploring the PNW. Angela is passionate about education, reading, and bringing curiosity to everyday life.
Key Takeaways:- Reconnecting with an old friend can feel like time never passed. Steph and Angela met at Lakota Junior High in the early '90s through drama club and can still finish each other's stories decades later.- It's never too late to change paths. Angela went back to college at 32, living in the dorms her first year, after years as a pharmacy technician, and became a certified teacher in her mid-30s.- School libraries are quietly disappearing. Angela's district cut librarian positions from every middle and high school, leaving books checked in and out by non-certified staff while she finishes her own library degree.- Being in drama and choir can be life-saving for a shy kid. Angela calls theater the place she "got to be me," crediting teachers - including the choir director who recruited her - with shaping who she became.- Both women treat divorce as a turning point, not a failure. Each describes a first marriage that ended for the right reasons and a second chapter that fits who they've grown into.- Smartphones are reshaping childhood fast. Angela shares what she sees in her sixth grade classroom, from phone pouches to shrinking attention spans, and why she's in no rush to give her kids a phone.- Titles like "mom" and "teacher" don't erase who you are underneath them. Angela's answer to the closing question: at her core, she's someone who chases joy, creativity, and new experiences.
Chapters:0:00 – Cold open0:11 – Welcome + meet Angela Ocheltree0:42 – Sixth grade teacher, future school librarian0:55 – How they met: Lakota Junior High, Federal Way2:11 – What got her into drama club3:02 – The coincidence of her parents landing in Emmett, Idaho3:35 – Her adopted mom's birth family is from Emmett too4:37 – "Felony Way": Federal Way's reputation today5:39 – Wild Waves closing after 50 seasons11:36 – Starting college at 32, living in the dorms12:44 – Full Sail, HP, and Steph's own degree14:46 – Co-directing school plays today16:59 – Godspell: her favorite show, then and now23:21 – Wanting to become a school librarian23:38 – Budget cuts gutting school librarian jobs30:20 – Teaching the five major world religions in 6th grade38:49 – Josh: the friend who got her into choir42:20 – Marriage, infidelity, and starting over44:16 – Remarried and raising three kids53:45 – How middle school has changed since the 90s55:34 – Girls on the Mat: yoga, breathwork, facilitator training57:34 – Smartphones and shrinking attention spans59:07 – Phone pouches at school1:01:49 – Disconnecting on a whitewater rafting trip1:09:24 – Felony Way revisited and the empty mall1:12:13 – First jobs: Izzy's Pizza and "pizza surprise"1:20:09 – Closing question1:26:20 – Full circle: daughters in theater, back on the stage1:27:57 – How drama saved her life1:32:37 – Outro

Sharmaine McWhite joins Steph Lokelani for a raw, funny, and unexpectedly deep conversation that starts with a joke about Social Security numbers and ends up covering nearly everything in between. Sharmaine, a multi-hyphenate creative, real estate agent, and content creator, opens up about growing up in a strict independent Baptist household that took her family from North Carolina to Alaska, where courtship replaced dating, skirts replaced pants, and an evangelist once arranged an introduction to a man she'd never met. She and Steph trade stories about leaving the church they were raised in, the lingering pull to "come back to the family," and what it was like discovering dating, intimacy, and nightlife for the first time in their 30s.
The conversation moves through purity culture and the near-total absence of real sex education, the religion's stance on LGBTQ+ people, and the guilty pleasure of watching Xena and Will & Grace in secret. Sharmaine also talks candidly about her adult ADHD diagnosis, the years she spent calling herself lazy and forgetful before she understood why, and how she's built a life around protecting her passions from ever becoming a job. It's a conversation about faith, boundaries, identity, and the lifelong process of figuring out who you are once the labels come off.
About Sharmaine McWhite
Meet Sharmaine McWhite, a creative at heart who believes life is meant to be lived with both passion and purpose.
An artist first, Sharmaine has also explored the worlds of modeling and acting, always looking for new ways to tell stories and express creativity. Professionally, she wears two hats as an Office Manager and Realtor, where she enjoys building relationships, solving problems, and helping others navigate life's biggest milestones.
A proud Treasure Valley resident for more than 20 years, she shares life with her partner, their four cats, and their blended family of three incredible kids. She considers herself spiritual rather than religious and values authenticity, personal growth, kindness, and meaningful connections.
Whether she's creating art, helping clients, or simply sharing pieces of her journey, Sharmaine hopes to inspire others to embrace every part of who they are.
Key Takeaways- Don't turn your passion into your job. Sharmaine keeps her artwork unmonetized on purpose. Once something becomes how you pay the bills, she argues, it stops being a passion.- Purpose doesn't have to be your career. Sharmaine defines her own purpose simply as living a good life and being happy, pushing back on the cultural pressure to find purpose through work.- Leaving a high-control religion doesn't mean losing your family. Both women describe staying close to parents who remain devout, and the ongoing tension of being told to "come back to the family."- Purity culture left both guests without real sex education - Song of Solomon and secretly-watched TV were their main exposure to the subject growing up.- A boundary is your responsibility, not a demand that someone else change. Sharmaine's framework: decide in advance how you'll respond if the behavior continues, and follow through.- An adult ADHD diagnosis reframed years of self-blame. Sharmaine talks about being called lazy and forgetful long before she understood the dopamine and working-memory science behind it.- Change is core to identity.
Chapters0:00 – Cold open: the Social Security number game3:49 – Welcome to The Essence of You + how they met5:05 – Defining passion vs. purpose7:33 – "Don't make your passion your job" — the painting she gave away10:02 – Content creation as the day job, filmmaking as the passion12:03 – Leaving religion: from North Carolina to Alaska14:09 – Strict rules: skirts only, no shoulders, no dating16:21 – "It was a cult": courtship, control, and the Duggars comparison17:31 – Homeschooling, undiagnosed ADHD, and being the only sibling to graduate19:55 – An evangelist arranges an introduction to a stranger22:18 – Confronting race within the religion24:20 – The Valentine's gifts that crossed a boundary26:50 – Making her dad end the relationship for her27:54 – Moving out and starting over at26 29:29 – The theological question that cracked her faith33:12 – Steph's own exit from evangelical Christianity34:03 – "Come back to the family" - the ongoing pull36:04 – Losing her virginity at 31 and discovering her 30s38:56 – "This is none of your business" - confronting her parents41:27 – What the religion (and her family) believes about LGBTQ+ people44:57 – Purity culture, no sex ed, and Song of Solomon in secret48:03 – Xena, Will & Grace, and secretly loving queer media51:00 – Leaving sales, open relationships, and craving variety53:01 – Getting an ADHD diagnosis as an adult58:26 – Called "lazy" her whole life1:03:42 – Closing question1:08:23 – Outro

In this episode of The Essence of You, host Steph Lokelani sits down with Karin Henniges, the mother of Episode 3 guest Angela Reish, who is visiting from her home in Oregon, by way of a life that has spanned three countries. Karin shares her story of growing up in Hanover, Germany as the only girl among three brothers, meeting her husband Mike (whose real name, Reinhold, she didn't learn until they sat down together to fill out immigration paperwork), and starting a marriage with almost nothing, a one-bedroom apartment, a shared bed, and a leap of faith to Canada in the dead of winter.
Karin walks through decades of building a life from scratch: Mike's brutal six weeks working the Dew Line near the Arctic Circle, years of scraping by on a dollar an hour, the devastating loss of their infant son to pneumonia, and the slow climb toward stability that eventually carried the family to the United States in 1968. She speaks candidly about the push and pull of a traditional marriage, being told when she could and couldn't work, and the compromises that shaped decades as a wife and mother.
The conversation then turns to Mike's decline and passing in 2008, and later circles back to tell that story in fuller detail. From a small, telling moment at an Apple Store that revealed the end was near, to the family's decision to honor his wish to stop treatment and die at home. Karin describes donating his body to science, receiving his ashes, and - with her sister-in-law's blessing eventually - scattering them in the lake in Hanover where she and Mike first met, technically against German law.
Since becoming a widow, Karin has built an entirely new chapter: months-long trips through Europe with a close friend, a promise to always show up for her grandchildren the way her own parents couldn't do for theirs, deep friendships in her Woodburn, Oregon community, and a hard-won sense of independence. The episode closes with Steph's signature question - who are you when everything external falls away - and Karin's answer about discovering, for the first time in her 80s, who she is outside of being a wife or a mother.
About Karin Henniges:
German Immigrant Karin Henniges, born at the end of WWII, now in her late 80s, shares her story of immigration and life (Karin said all in one breath). And that's her bio.
Key Takeaways:
Karin's story is a reminder that identity can take a lifetime to find, and that it's never too late to claim it. A few things that stood out:
- Karin spent decades as "his wife" and "their mother" before getting the chance to simply be Karin. She credits the years since becoming a widow with finally showing her who she is at her core - sarcastic sense of humor, love of travel, and all.- Immigrating twice, first to Canada and then to the United States, meant starting over financially again and again. Karin recalls coming home from a visit to Germany with just two dollars left in the bank, and Mike working a week and a half just to cover a month's rent.- The loss of an infant son to pneumonia is woven into the family's larger story of resilience -a loss Karin doesn't dwell on, but doesn't hide either.- Karin made a lifelong promise to be present for her grandchildren after realizing her own parents, who stayed behind in Germany, never really got to know theirs. She now visits all three grandkids regularly, including an annual beach trip tradition with her grandson that's now ten years running.- When Mike's health declined, the family honored his explicit wish to stop treatment and die at home rather than in a hospital, a decision Karin later helped her sister-in-law understand when she faced the same choice for her own husband years afterward.- Karin scattered Mike's ashes in the lake in Hanover where they first met, technically against German law, wrapped in flowers picked for each family member - an act of quiet defiance that felt true to who he was.- Friendship, especially friendship that belongs entirely to her rather than being inherited from marriage, has become one of the most important parts of Karin's life in her 80s.
Chapters:
00:00 -Welcome and introducing Karin00:25 - Growing up in Hanover: the only girl with three brothers01:38 - Meeting Mike (really Reinhold) and falling for someone different03:50 - Deciding to immigrate to Canada04:22 - Filling out paperwork and learning his real name05:40 - Arriving in Canada unprepared, in the dead of winter07:02 - Mike's six weeks on the Dew Line near the Arctic Circle08:20 - Building a life on a dollar an hour10:59 - The loss of their infant son to pneumonia11:18 - A move to Calgary and a fresh start12:03 - First trip home to Germany, and $2 left in the bank12:44 - Deciding to immigrate again, to the United States14:01 - Settling in San Jose and navigating a traditional marriage14:45 - Being told when she could and couldn't work16:52 - His own business, 20-hour days, and declining health17:35 - Moving through Paradise, California, and on to Woodburn, Oregon18:35 - Mike passes away in 2008; Karin becomes a widow19:44 - Choosing what to do with her freedom, and a friend moves in20:07 - A three-month journey across Europe begins22:03 - San Sebastian, Easter mass, and a hard-won cathedral visit24:20 - Florence, Christmas markets, and a truck attack they narrowly missed26:37 - Hanover's Christmas market and Angela's upcoming trip29:31 - The travel partnership fades; Karin moves to independent living31:15 - Grandchildren, and the promise to always be there for them34:22 - A ten-year tradition with her grandson at the Oregon coast35:07 - Sarah, Cole, and relationships with her sons-in-law36:14 - Money worries, rising rent, and staying close to friends38:33 - Reflecting on the "middle years" and hard-won independence39:56 - Steph reflects on her own freedom since her divorce41:10 - The Apple Store story that signaled the end was near42:44 - The family's decision to honor his wish to stop treatment43:39 - Hospice, applesauce, and the moment they knew44:38 - Passing away at home and donating his body to science46:05 - The certificate, the spinal cord, and what it meant47:27 - Angela's suggestion: take him home to Hanover48:39 - Scattering his ashes in the lake where they met, against the law50:29 - Sister-in-law Erica's slow understanding51:37 - "It didn't cost me a dime"51:58 - Eerie signs: the closet light that wouldn't stay off53:05 - A promise made from his hospital bed53:44 - The core question: who are you when everything falls away?55:49 - Closing thoughts and thanks

In this episode of The Essence of You Podcast, host Steph Lokelani sits down with Boise hip-hop artist and community builder Cornell Johnson, known on stage as ZERO Wan-Kenobi. Cornell opens up about how he found his voice through music with the Earthlings crew, why he believes Boise's creative community needs to support each other instead of competing, and how writing a song for his mother after her passing in 2020 taught him to "cultivate light out of darkness."
The conversation moves into Cornell's work with the Rap America Project, a youth rap camp he's helped grow for three years, teaching kids and adults everything from lyric writing to stage performance to the business side of music. He shares candid, unfiltered stories about a frightening health scare in August 2024 that led to a brain injury diagnosis, his ongoing recovery, and the daily disciplines, including the philosophies of Kaizen (getting 1% better each day) and Mushin (learning to sit with an impulse instead of reacting to it), that have carried him through sobriety and healing.
Cornell also reflects on fatherhood, his path from San Bernardino, California to Boise, Idaho, the creation of his ZERO persona, and what it means to build something bigger than himself alongside his bandmates. This is a raw, honest conversation about resilience, community, and choosing hope even when it's hard.
Connect with Cornell/ZERO Wan-Kenobi: Spotify, Apple Music, and all streaming platforms as ZERO Wan-Kenobi. Instagram and Facebook: @ZEROWanKenobi. Also find his collective, Earthlings Crew, on all streaming platforms and Instagram @EarthlingsCrew.
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61577901365873
https://www.instagram.com/zerowankenobi/
https://open.spotify.com/artist/4YaAeSvsANE45PtM3Lwj6H?si=hbKsYIk5Rv6Ny37kjT5Riw
 
About Cornell Johnson, AKA ZERO Wan-Kenobi:
Born in 1986 in San Bernardino, California, Cornell Johnson aka ZERO Wan-Kenobi, is a hip hop artist based out of Boise, Idaho. Influenced by artists such as Talib Kweli, Mos Def, Common and many other conscious artists, ZERO takes his artistry into a new dimension. Finding ways to heal with real life stories told in his music which resonate with a refreshingly real honesty. Learning to live and living to learn.
Key Takeaways:
- Community over competition: Cornell believes Boise's music and hip-hop scene thrived most when artists showed up for each other, and that "repping a city" means investing in that city's community, not just chasing views and likes.- Creating light out of darkness: After losing his mother in 2020, Cornell couldn't write or create for a while. Writing a song for a friend, and, in turn, for his mom, became the moment he realized he could turn his own grief into something that helps other people heal.- The Rap America Project: A youth (and now all-ages) rap camp founded by Brenda Francis that Cornell has helped lead for three years. Participants learn lyric writing, stage performance, beat-making, and the business side of music, and perform an original song by the end of camp. Local sponsors like Idaho Pizza Company and Jersey Mike's fed the kids so no one went without lunch, something Cornell connects directly to his own experience of food insecurity growing up.- A frightening health scare: In August 2024, after quitting alcohol and multiple medications cold turkey, Cornell went into shock and experienced what he describes as "feeling life leaving my body." It marked the start of an ongoing journey toward a brain injury diagnosis and recovery, including a severe concussion in January 2025 and a lapse in insurance/medication access in mid-2025.- Kaizen and Mushin: Two philosophies that have anchored Cornell's recovery. Kaizen means getting just 1% better each day through small, sustainable choices. Mushin (a concept he ties to "no mind") is about noticing the pause before an impulsive action and choosing to sit with discomfort rather than react to it.- The origin of "ZERO": Cornell created his stage persona, ZERO Wan-Kenobi, as an outlet distinct from who he was during his heaviest drinking years. Sharing his vulnerability, fears, and mistakes through music became a way to connect with others who felt broken.- Hope as a discipline, not a feeling: Cornell describes himself as "the hopeless hopeful," someone who chooses hope and shows up for good even when the world feels heavy. His closing message: "You have every reason to be okay."
Chapters:
00:00 - Cold open & pre-show banter01:16 - Welcome & meet Cornell Johnson, aka ZERO Wan-Kenobi02:45 - How ZERO got into music and joined the Earthlings crew04:28 - The state of Boise's hip-hop and music community08:53 - Cultivating light out of darkness: losing his mom in 202012:16 - The origin of the Rap America Project rap camp16:20 - Year two: bringing in the Earthlings crew as teachers18:43 - Year three: the most prepared and successful camp yet21:59 - Shoutout to sponsors: Idaho Pizza Company & Jersey Mike's23:42 - Staying present and finding joy in small moments28:56 - Confession: hip-hop isn't even his favorite music genre29:52 - A quick history of hip-hop and why he does it for the culture31:28 - Opening up about his 2024 brain injury and health scare39:06 - A second setback: a severe concussion in January 202541:58 - Losing insurance, losing medication, and the slow decline44:19 - Getting back on track and preparing for a doctor's appointment46:53 - Money, gas prices, and the cost of everyday necessities53:18 - The Kaizen philosophy: getting 1% better every day54:49 - Mushin: sitting with the pause before an impulsive action56:30 - Where his personal story intersects with his work59:52 - Getting sober in 2019 and how music changed1:00:54 - Creating the ZERO persona1:03:01 - How the 2024 breakup and health scare connect1:03:22 - Making music bigger than himself, with his brothers1:05:22 - Choosing hope and carrying yourself with love1:06:18 - Who is ZERO at his core?1:08:12 - Where to find ZERO Wan-Kenobi and Earthlings Crew1:09:00 - Closing thoughts

"You can't be triggered if you're not cocked." That's the kind of line Nichole Stull drops mid-conversation - half punchline, half life philosophy. In this episode, Steph sits down with improv artist and filmmaker Nichole Stull, who's spent decades shaping the visual world of indie film and TV (including the demon-driven color palette of "259") while also teaching storytelling and applied improv alongside her husband Jared for the last 25 years.
The conversation moves fast and goes deep. Nichole breaks down the "Story Spine," the improv-born storytelling framework Pixar built its scripts on, and why an alien can absolutely show up in a Western - as long as you've earned it. She talks about running her kids' school book fair for 13 years and how she went from devouring every Sweet Valley High book in existence to being a member of an early-2000s online Twilight book club. Get this: with Stephenie Meyer posting in it!
From there, Steph and Nichole don't shy away from harder territory: library censorship, what kids actually have access to online, and a remarkably candid conversation about pornography, intimacy, and the industry behind it. Nichole shares how she talks to her five kids, ages 7 to 22, about sex, alcohol, and modesty without ever making any of it feel forbidden.
The back half turns personal. Nichole tells the story of a devastating junior high year, a friend's sudden death, and the summer she decided who she wanted to be walking into high school. It's a story about identity and reinvention that still shapes how she raises her own kids today. It's a masterclass in reframing trauma, taking responsibility for your own triggers, and understanding that every one of us, just by moving through life, is going to make ripples.
The episode closes with one final question: when you strip away every label and title, who are you at your core? Nichole's answer, rooted in her LDS faith and years of internal work, redefines the difference between pride and humility. It might even change how you think about your own worth.
About Nichole Stull:
Nichole believes that every human on the planet would benefit from improv, because life is improvised and improv teaches us all how to react with love, laughter, forward motion, and purpose. Nichole has been teaching and using improv for performance, leadership, team development, and group connection for 25 years. As a speaker, trainer, and facilitator, Nichole loves helping business owners, community leaders, youth, and families find common ground, fun, and deliberate action to strengthen bonds and purpose. Nichole is also an actor, writer, director, and filmmaker who specializes in storytelling as a way to connect humans. She is fortunate to partner in business and life with her husband, Jared, and their five kids who are almost always amazing. In the last few years Nichole has taken big action to be pro-active in cancer prevention and feels passionately about patients getting all the info they need clearly, concisely, and completely to make choices confidently.
Key Takeaways:
- The "Story Spine" framework (used by Pixar) can turn any idea into a compelling story: establish the normal, introduce a change, and show how each response builds until a new normal is reached.- A story can absolutely break its own rules, you just have to earn it. Set the stage before you introduce the unexpected.- What a story "means" is shaped as much by the audience's life experience as by the storyteller's intent.- Trigger warnings have a place, but no one else is responsible for your internal reaction; that's inner work only you can do.- You can't move through the world without creating ripples. Being afraid of your own impact isn't humility, it's fear.- Pride and humility aren't opposites. The real opposite of pride is self-hate, while humility is holding your own value and everyone else's at the same time.- Every one of us carries trauma, even the moments that feel "normal" in hindsight. What matters is how we choose to tell the story afterward.
Chapters:
00:00 - Behind the Scenes: Costume, Color & the Craft of Indie Filmmaking07:21 - The Story Spine: Storytelling Tools from Improv to Pixar19:02 - The Book Fair, Reluctant Readers & "Beware the Anti-Reader"23:34 - Harry Potter, Twilight & a Surprise Book Club with Stephenie Meyer32:24 - Library Censorship and Kids' Access to Information35:56 - A Frank Conversation on Pornography and Intimacy42:02 - Raising Teens: Honest Talks About Sex, Alcohol & Choices45:40 - Trigger Warnings and Owning Your Own Reactions51:58 - The Swimming Pool Analogy: Permission to Make Ripples58:52 - Everyone Has Trauma. It's How We Tell the Story1:01:12 - Nichole's Turning Point: Loneliness, Loss & Choosing Who to Become1:10:04 - What We Choose to Put Out Into the World1:12:21 - Final Question

Art Burns spent years in New York's high-pressure advertising world before addiction and burnout brought him to his knees, and to mindfulness. Today he's a certified mindfulness meditation teacher and founder of Alicia's Angels, a nonprofit bringing guided meditation, self-compassion coaching, and community support directly into chemotherapy infusion centers.
In this conversation, Art shares the story of Alicia, the client whose journey inspired the organization's name, and unpacks how mindfulness helps cancer patients and their families soften anger into acceptance, release the "cancer as identity" trap, and find beauty even in life's hardest moments. Steph and Art talk honestly about supporting loved ones through illness, the neuroscience behind rewiring the brain through practice, and why real presence matters more than having the "right" words.
Whether you're navigating a diagnosis, supporting someone who is, or just want practical tools for showing up more fully in your own life, this episode offers both heart and hard science.
Learn more about Alicia's Angels: https://aliciasangels.com/
ABOUT ART BURNS:
As a certified mindfulness meditation teacher, Art draws upon his traditional Catholic upbringing, combined with his extensive studies in the Eastern philosophies of Taoism, Hinduism, and Buddhism, to spiritually connect with people from every background. Through the language of their religious and cultural experience, Art helps people understand the universal laws of spirituality to help bring them to a place of physical and emotional wellbeing. Art resides in Colorado with three cats. 
🔑 KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Alicia's Angels brings free mindfulness meditation, self-compassion coaching, and community into chemotherapy centers and virtual sessions for patients, families, and caregivers.- A cancer diagnosis doesn't just affect the patient, it ripples through family members, friends, and coworkers in ways that are easy to miss.- The most helpful thing you can offer someone facing illness isn't advice or errands, it's honest, judgment-free presence and active listening.- Mindfulness isn't about controlling your thoughts; it's about noticing when your attention wanders and gently returning, it's a "muscle" you build with practice.- Neuroplasticity research shows consistent meditation practice measurably changes brain activity, even outside of meditation itself.- Self-compassion follows a simple three-step practice: acknowledge the struggle, remember you're not alone in it, then offer yourself comfort.- A diagnosis (or any role we play) doesn't have to become our whole identity, it is one thread in a larger tapestry.
⏱️ CHAPTERS:
00:00 - Cold Open: Meet Art Burns & Alicia's Angels00:29 - The Story Behind Alicia's Angels05:53 - Inside the Program: Meditation, Coaching & Community08:52-  How a Cancer Diagnosis Ripples Through the Family16:48 - What to Say (and Not Say) to Someone with Cancer20:23 - From Advertising Burnout to a Mindfulness Practice31:07 - When Illness Becomes Your Identity37:05 - The Power of Presence Without Judgment44:52 - Alicia's Words: From Anger to Compassion48:02 - The Self-Compassion Practice53:29 - The Neuroscience of a Rewired Brain57:03 - Small Daily Practices That Change Everything1:03:01 - Judgment, Traffic Jams & Seeing the Beauty in What Is1:08:28 - Closing Question: Who Are You at Your Core?